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Thursday, August 26, 2010

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

I read this online when cityandmakeup posted a link to it on twitter. I really liked reading this and I just wanted to share it with you. It's for anyone, even if you arn't married or don't have a significant other.


When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you.

She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth.

But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question.

This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.

But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.

The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release.

The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing.

I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible.

Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.

Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain.

From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse.

I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again.

I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger.

I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway.

Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce.

My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Help me decide which Louis Vuitton Speedy to get...

Ok, so I think I've finally decided to jump onto the Louis Vuitton wagon. Lol. No, but really, I've wanted one since 6th or 7th grade when I saw one on the Newlyweds show with Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. I'm planning on getting one of the speedy 35s but I can't decide which print to get. These are my options. These each retail for $715 USDS. I think I'll feel very guilty purchasing one but at the same time, I think it would be a good investment for me because I would use it A LOT! Anyways I need your help deciding so please leave a comment and tell me which one you think would be best for my FIRST Louis Vuitton Purchase!

Tropical/ Rihanna inspired look

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

& the first time you fall it love... It changes you forever.

I spend some of my free time with my Timmy this past week. Just thought I'd show you all a few pics.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Taylor Swift Tutorial

Here is a picture of the inspiration:

And heres my way:

I don't think I would ever actually cut my hair to have bangs again but these clip-in ones are great because they make it so you don't have to! They're really fun to play with. You can buy them here: http://www.voguewigs.com/bangs-hairdo-clip-in-hair-extensions.html

Voguewigs.com did sent me these for free to use for videos. I'm not getting paid. It is my honest opinion.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Mac To the Beach Collection

The U.S. Launch date for this beautiful collection is May 27th, 2010. I'm so excited to get a bunch of things from this one! Here's a preview of what will be coming out with this one. I think the eyeshadows are so beautiful, I'm also excited for the refined golden bronzer and the coral colored blush in Hipness. Those are a few of the things I'm hoping to pick up!

Credit goes to http://www.temptalia.com/mac-to-the-beach-collection-for-summer-2010 for the pictures and information. You can also see even more if you go that site.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Here is my inspiration

And how mine turned out...

I hope you like it! I had so much fun being a brunette for a little while!
If your interested in the wig it can be purchased here: http://www.voguewigs.com/roll-with-it-forever-young-wig.html
The wig is great. It feels really good for not being real hair. The color is in sienna and its gorgeous, oh and it's 42.95 USD.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Deuteronomy 31:6

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10
I know not that maybe not everyone who reads this will be Christian and thats ok. I was looking for inspirational quotes and when i started to type it in it suggested religious quotes. I LOVE GOD AND JESUS. Maybe I forgot about how important GOD is lately. It's not something that I ever wanted to do but sometimes we get so busy with everything else we forget the bigger picture. Maybe if i spent more time with God he would give me more courage and strength.

Today was a horrible day. I had someone accuse me of being childish and not caring about anyone else. That is completely untrue. Although I often say I hate people when they are mean to me at work, I really love people. All people. Even the ones who leave me hate messages. I'll pray for them anyways. I would never wish anything bad on anyone. Everyone has a reason for being the way they are, and while I may dislike some of the things they do, they have a reason for it. Maybe they are mean because they were treated that way. Maybe they are depressed because someone tells them they aren't special or doesn't tell them they are special enough.

The thing is were all special. Someone put us on this planet for a reason. I refuse to believe we are all just a product of evolution. I believe that we all have a purpose, some of us have taken detours in finding it, but in the end we will all find our purpose.

I guess the point of this blog is to tell you to not forget what matters to you. Be brave, courageous, and act confident (even when your not). Don't let people bring you down and don't bring others down. I love each and every one of you, I hope that all you have an amazing day or night :)

Thursday, March 4, 2010

"Never forget that anticipation is an important part of life. Work's important, family's important, but without excitement, you have nothing. You're cheating yourself if you refuse to enjoy what's coming."
Nicholas Sparks

When I saw this quote I thought it was PERFECT. I've never read the book it's from. I adore all the movies made of Nicholas Sparks books. I think I'm going to go buy the Dear John book today and/or The Last Song.

Excitement and anticipation are so important. They are the things that keep us feeling alive and looking toward the future. Maybe you're looking forward to a package coming in the mail, a new job, finishing up a degree, or seeing someone special. No matter how big or small it is these are the things that keep our life going and make it feel like we have something to live for.

If you don't feel like you have anything worth living for just think of all the amazing opportunities you have in your future. You CAN do anything and make your dreams happen. Just believe in yourself. It can be so hard to see when your feeling hopeless. Do something that changes it. Surround yourself with amazing people who will support you. If you have something you want to do, DO IT, no matter how others feel about. If you think you're too old to go to school, think of all the older people who do it and love going back to school. If you think you're not smart enough, remember Bill Gate's dropped out of high school. If you want to be an actress but think you never will be able to, most famous people never thought they would. If you think you'll never amount to anything, think again.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

My New Lipstick Love...

Hue lipstick by Mac! It's the best lip stick ever. A pinkish nude color that fits my hair and skin color amazingly. I think it's a color that can look great with any skin or hair color. Its gorgeous! It's super creamy and doesn't make my lips feel dry. It's my new favorite lipstick, right next to Creme Cup. Anyways heres how it looks on me.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Khloe Kardashian inspired look

Hey Everyone! So I just wanted to give you a sneak peak to my upcoming tutorial! Heres the pictures!

Maybelline Eyeshadow Quad

So I bought this quad at target for around $6.50 USD. As you can tell from the swatches the colors are beautiful. I really like them and can't wait to do a tutorial with them in the future! I definitely think these are worth the money. Although I don't think they are as great as the other maybelline quads.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Whitney Port Hair Tutorial

Here is a picture of how my hair turned out

This is the hairstyle that inspired mine. Its super easy. Whitney Ports hair is so cute in this picture so I had to try it out. Mine is a little different but that's why it was INSPIRED by her hair and not exactly her hair style. You can watch the tutorial on my youtube channel.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Things I want right now...

I heard this Kabuki brush is amazing! As one of the prizes I got for winning Tracy and Stephanie's contest, I picked the mineralized skin finish. If you would like to check out their videos, heres the link to their channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/eleventhgorgeous
I figured it would be an even better thing with this amazing brush to go with it!

I really love the NARS Laguna Bronzer and Orgasm Blush Duo that I have. I recently hit pan on the Bronzer though and would LOVE to have the fu
ll size bronzer. This stuff is AMAZING and works with most skin tones. It looks very dark but it can even work on very fair skin. It's a must have in my makeup bag.

I would LOVE to have this lipgloss. It looks like such a pretty and unique color. Mario uses this color on Kim Kardashian all the time! So of course I HAVE to have it! Lol, just kidding. But I do really want it. Mario is an amazi
ng makeup artist. I love reading his blog too. Heres a link to it in case your interested: http://blog.makeupbymario.com/

This is just a picture of a random eyeshadow. I need 8 more until my mac palette is filled. I'm not really sure which colors to get. If any of you have any suggestions please leave a comment!

Hope you all have a wonderful week!